


No Going Home

by changeapproved



Series: Nighthawks [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changeapproved/pseuds/changeapproved
Summary: On a sleepless night, Graham and the Doctor find some common ground.





	No Going Home

Exhaustion weighed heavily on his shoulders as Graham wandered through the TARDIS corridors. It had been a long few weeks. A _really_ long few weeks. He was certain he'd never run so much in his life or gone so many nights with such little rest. There was always something to be doing and monsters to defeat and for a nice change of pace the Doctor had decided to give them a couple of days to recuperate.

 

Yet Graham couldn't sleep.

 

He thought he'd be able to. Head would just hit the pillows and he'd be out like a light like he used to be after a long nightshift. Turned out it wasn't to be, and he'd never been the sort of person to lounge in bed once he was awake.

 

He trudged forward with no specific destination in mind. He probably shouldn't have been surprised when he ended up in the console room. Didn't really seem to matter which direction any of them went in - all corridors led to here. Graham had a feeling the machine fancied it's privacy. Or perhaps the Doctor herself did.

 

A quiet clatter of lots of small things hitting the floor jolted Graham from his half-comatose musings. Screws, he concluded, based on the rolling sounds that followed a couple of bounces.

 

"Ooops," said the Doctor. He should have known she'd still be awake. "Sorry, old girl." Awake and talking to her spaceship as she liked to do when she thought nobody could hear her. "I'll pick them up in a jiff. Promise."

 

Graham thought about turning around and heading back towards his room, but instead he moved further into the console room until he could see the Doctor sat cross-legged on the floor. She was surrounded by a number of small metal bits (some of which he recognised and many he didn't) and random broken gadgets. He cleared his throat and her head shot up as though he'd startled her.

 

"Oh, hello there," she said. She smiled at him, as she always did. Graham pulled his dressing gown more tightly around his body, suddenly very aware that he wore nothing but boxers underneath. "I thought you were off to bed?"

 

"Couldn't sleep," said Graham.

 

The Doctor tilted her head to one side. Like she was trying to figure him out.

 

"All right," she said. "Midnight snack?"

 

"I wouldn't say no to a cuppa."

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

The Doctor flitted around the odd kitchen before Graham directed her to sit down and took over tea duties himself. He'd tried the Doctor's idea of tea and it wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat. Too polite not to drink it, Yaz had been on a sugar high for two full hours last time.

 

Then, kettle filled and placed atop the flat, burning, blue rock the TARDIS had rather than a stove, Graham sat down opposite the Doctor. She was fiddling with her fingers and her foot tapped rapidly against the floor.

 

"Not a fan of downtime, are you?" said Graham.

 

"I like downtime. I just wish it passed a bit faster." 

 

Graham had a nephew like that. As a child he could never sit still, could never concentrate on any one task. He was constantly bursting with energy. It had turned out little Tommy had ADHD and as he got older and sorted out his meds, things became a bit easier for the bloke. Graham briefly wondered if there was an alien equivalent - not that he would ever dare ask her that.

 

"Couldn't sleep either, Doc?" he asked instead.

 

Her foot stilled. "I don't need sleep like you do."

 

Well that was a new one. "So when we go to bed you just...wait for us."

 

"Sometimes," said the Doctor brightly, like that was a perfectly normal thing to do. He didn't ask what she did the other times. "Is there something wrong with you room?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"The reason you couldn't sleep. The TARDIS can change it up a bit if it's not right. I mean it should be good. To your specifications. Psychic matrix, you see." Graham didn't see.

 

"Nah the room's fine, thanks." And it was. Almost eerily so.

 

The Doctor raised her eyebrow in question. Graham let out a low breath.

 

"It's just hard getting used to sleeping alone again."

 

The Doctor's mouth formed an 'o' shape and her eyes became sad. It was enough to bring the aching grief that only seemed to make itself known at night to the forefront. He swallowed it down and concentrated on his breathing. Just like Grace had once taught him to do.

 

"You ever lost someone like that, Doc? A partner?"

 

There was a long pause.

 

"Yes." Her voice was low and soft. Graham almost regretted asking.

 

"What where they like? Must have been mad to be able to keep up with you." He earned himself a smile for that one.

 

"She was...brilliant." _She_. Graham had wondered about that. "Cleverest person I ever met that wasn't me. Kind and brave and strong and never showed up without being followed by a galaxy's worth of trouble."

 

"You must have liked that," said Graham. He'd never seen the Doctor happier than when she was surrounded by impossible odds and even more impossible problems.

 

The Doctor nodded her head. "She could fly the TARDIS like a champ. And she had the _best_ hair."

 

"She sounds great." Though Graham wasn't necessarily hearing the words that were coming out of the Doctor's mouth so much as her tone of voice. Love, admiration and a hint of nostalgia that resonated deep in his old bones.

 

"She was special," said the Doctor. Then she frowned, her hands clenching into fists as they rested atop the table. "I mean...you're all special. Everyone I've ever met is special. But she was... _really_ special."

 

"How long were you together?"

 

"The last time I saw her? Twenty-four years. Give or take a few hundred extra-curricular adventures in the TARDIS."

 

He frowned. "Childhood sweetheart then?" The Doctor looked at him strangely. "I mean you can't be much older than thirty-five, right?"

 

A slight smirk tugged at the Doctor's lip. "I'm older than you, Graham."

 

"What? No you ain't." 

 

The Doctor let out a laugh. "I'm over two-thousand years old." He felt his mouth opening and closing then, with no sound coming out. "Don't know exactly how much over. It's hard to keep track of stuff like age after the first few hundred years. Might be even older than that. Feels like it sometimes."

 

"Right," Graham finally managed. He shook his head and mentally set aside this new information to look at again in the cold light of day (when it might make more sense). "You said twenty-four years the last time you saw her? You break up before that or something?"

 

The Doctor sighed and leaned back in her chair. She ran a hand through her messy blonde hair. "It's complicated," she said. "For me it was about seven-hundred years. We...never met in the right order. The first few times I met her I was her husband, but she wasn't my wife. I didn't even know her."

 

"That must have hurt," said Graham. He couldn't imagine going back to a time when Grace didn't know who he was. He'd take that pain though if it meant he could have her back.

 

The mirthless smile the Doctor offered him then was answer enough.

 

"Grace and I only had five years..." said Graham. "Married for three of them. She changed my life though. Wouldn't change those five years for anything."

 

"Not one line?" said the Doctor quietly. He looked up and caught her eye and something heavy settled in his chest. He blinked back tears.

 

"Not one line," he agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little conversation I had in my head. Graham needs an adult to talk to.
> 
> tumblr: @change-approved


End file.
